Bill Brown says the eyes are not only windows to the soul, they’re human lie detectors.
Bill Brown says the eyes are not only windows to the soul, they’re human lie detectors.
Non-verbal communication can predict anybody’s success or failure. Research of Patryk & Kasia Wezowski has proven that decoding somebody’s “Body Language Code™” can predict the outcome of presidential elections or your inborn potential to have an advantage in negotiations. Knowing how to read “micro expressions” is probably the most effective way to connect more with people and the most crucial skill to prevent the increasing social autism caused by today’s technological innovations.
The 500 most-commonly used words in the English language have:
a). over 5,000 different meanings &
b). comprise over half of your word usage.
Maximize your ability to be understood by remembering the “Three Vs.” Every spoken message has three key components: the verbals (i.e., words), the visuals (body language), and the vocals (voice speed, volume, and tone). When integrated, the three compliment one another and increase the likelihood of being understood. As such, always use caution with email and texts, as they strip away key aspects of your message — significantly increasing the probability of miscommunication.
Digital natives, the term used for Millennials and the follow-on generations, are at grave risk from the very technology they’ve so thoroughly embraced.
New research finds that this reliance on emails, texts, and similar impersonal tools has removed the non-verbal component from how these generations communicate. However, as readers of this blog are aware, however, the bulk of every single human interaction is nonverbal.
Devoid of all the subtle nuances that comprise effective communications, digital natives are left with nothing but emotionless words. Given decades of research demonstrating that at least 60% of every message is nonverbal, digital natives are at risk to experiencing lives of institutionalized miscommunication.
This news alone is startling, but more devastating is the second key finding of this latest study. Absent the emotional (i.e., nonverbal) component of their cyber interactions, the digitals‘ brains are being rewired to process communications in a reason-based fashion. Thus, communication is reduced to mathematical equations wherein “word+word+word=irrefutable fact.”
Sadly, the rest of the world does not think and act based exclusively on logic and reason. Emotion is, and always will be, at the heart of every decision made by non-digital natives. This puts natives in a significant disadvantage whenever they interact face-to-face. Inexperienced at reading body language and the other theatrics of language, their failure rate in analyzing and interpreting others’ actions or negotiating favorable outcomes is stunning.
Predictably, this discomfort and unfamiliarity with F2F communications leads some digitals to retreat back into their comfort zone of technology-based tools. This response, however, can send the digital into a communications death spiral and increasingly deep personal and professional isolation.
Fortunately, the digitals can be saved, but only if older generations intervene. Non-digital natives need to teach the younger generations about nonverbal communication, the emotional roots of being human, behavioral cues, statement analysis, and so forth. Its not to late to save them – but their personal and professional futures require our immediate assistance.
By Alice Park, Time
Distinct facial muscles were used to express compound emotions
Leading scientific thinkers of their time, such as Aristotle, Rene Descartes, Guillaume Duchenne, and Charles Darwin, have long promoted the idea that there are a handful of basic emotions that people express. In recent decades, that group has crystalized into six core emotions: happiness, surprise, sadness, anger, fear, and disgust.
But there are clearly many shades of gray between those emotions. For example, there’s the happy-because-I’m-eating-ice cream and the happy-because-I-just-learned-I-got-a-surprise-marriage-proposal looks, each of which is slightly different.
That’s what intrigued Aleix Martinez, associate professor of electrical and computer engineering at Ohio State University. “Six seemed a small number given the rainbow of possibilities of feeling and expressing emotions,” he says.
Martinez wanted to know whether compound emotions, such as happy surprise, were expressed using the same muscle movements of both happiness and surprise, or whether the expression involved a unique set of muscles that represented some amalgam of the two.
What he and his colleagues found was that the human face makes 21 different emotional expressions – and each is different from the other. While some represented combinations of emotions, each differed in terms of which muscles were involved.
And surprisingly, these facial expression patterns were remarkably consistent across all 230 volunteers. For example, each showed happy surprise in the same way that was distinct from both happiness and from surprise, and different still from angry surprise.
Martinez broke down the facial expressions of 230 volunteers by applying his engineering strategies. He and his colleagues gave each of the students, staff, or faculty members who enrolled in the study different scenarios and asked them to show how they would react in each one. They were told, for example, that they had just learned they had been accepted to a graduate program, that someone had told them a disgusting, but still funny joke, or that they had just smelled something bad. The volunteers were allowed to practice their facial expressions in front of a mirror before Martinez took pictures of their reactions.
He then computer-analyzed each of the 5,000 images, breaking them down by which facial muscles the participants used. These were first defined in 1978 by psychologist Paul Ekman, who codified facial expressions in the Facial Action Coding System (FACS) by action units, or muscles or groups of muscles that went into making facial expressions – such as lip parts (for showing disgust), showing teeth (for expressing happiness), mouth stretch (for fear), or eyelid tightening (for anger).
Feature continues here: Human Faces
Allan Pease is an Honorary Professor of Psychology at ULIM International University, who researches and studies selling relationships and human communication. He teaches simple, field-tested skills and techniques that get results. And he delivers his message in a humorous way, which motivates people to want to use. Allan’s own experience and record in the field of selling, motivating and training is equaled by few others. He is a born achiever, starting his career at the age of 10. Globally known as “Mr Body Language,” his programs are used by businesses and governments to teach powerful relationship skills. His messages are relevant to any area of life that involves winning people over and getting them to like you, co-operate, follow you or say ‘yes.’
By Chris Simmons
[Note: This feature should be read in conjunction with yesterday’s post].
Like a truthful narrative, a dishonest statement has five components and is arranged in a predictable pattern. However, in a falsehood, the sequencing of the core elements is reversed and the Main Information split in half. As such, a deceitful storyline is structured like so: Start, Main Information, Minor Details, Main Information, & the End.
The splitting of the Main Information triggers the “roller coaster” effect many people experience when victimized by a lie. In this scenario, the sub-conscious mind has spotted the anomaly (i.e., a deceptive pattern) but has not yet identified the lie(s).
These behavioral cues are indicative of a false statement:
1. The deceitful interviewee will only include information relevant to the discussion (in contrast to a truthful individual, who includes extraneous data).
2. The deceiver’s narrative tends to be very concise.
3. Almost without exception, the interviewee’s body language will show clusters of deceptive behavior.
4. When the interviewee is providing the Minor Details, be aware that he/she is studying your body language to gauge whether he/she is believed. If they see signs of skepticism, they may alter the second chuck of Main Information to allow themselves a way out.
Test a suspicious story by allowing the interviewee to tell his/her account from start to finish without interruption. After a brief period, ask them to tell their story backwards. Since a dishonest tale is memorized from start-to-finish, you will detect hesitation and stalling as the interviewee replays the story in their head. The timeline will quickly fall apart as well, as items are forgotten, moved around, and occasionally — added.
By Chris Simmons
Every act of communication should be viewed as a distinct performance. This is especially true when a liar seeks to manipulate you with his/her deception. Generally, the deceiver will experience considerable stress and anxiety during their theatrics. However, all of their focus and attention is directed outwards towards their intended victim. As a result, they are rarely aware of all the stress indicators being given off during their act. For example:
Remember, a liar seeks to “sell” you on their deception and move on to non-threatening subjects. The sooner they are out of the “danger area” of the lie(s), the happier he/she becomes.
By Chris Simmons
Have you ever noticed how much space people take up when they feel powerful? Everything becomes BIGGER. They talk with their hands outstretched. Their feet are planted firmly on the ground; spread 12-24 inches apart. If sitting, they are likely leaning forward on the edge of their chair or couch. When speaking, their speed and volume tends to increase. All these indicators come together to create an impression of energy and power.
Conversely, when feeling less confident, weak, or vulnerable, one’s body language becomes defensive and draws in close to our body. If gesturing, the hands remain close together and generally within 12 inches of the body. Arms and/or legs may be crossed. Eye contact decreases sharply. If seated, the person draws back into their seat. In fact, the only behavior which may remain steady or increase is vocal speed and volume, and that is wholly dependant on the emotional commitment at the moment.
Learn How To Decode The Unspoken Messages People Send Your Way
By Annie Finnigan, Woman’s Day
Can’t figure someone out? Then you’re probably not tuning in to her body language. We all speak without saying a word—you just need to know what to look for.
Have you ever been talking to someone when suddenly she crosses her arms? In that moment, the whole vibe of your conversation shifts. You start to feel a little defensive because you think that’s how she’s feeling. But are you reading her right, or just jumping to conclusions? The truth is, if you misread people’s body language—or worse, don’t pick up on it at all—you’re missing more than you think.
“Up to 80% of what we communicate is nonverbal,” says Joe Navarro, a former FBI agent turned nonverbal communication expert and author of What Every Body Is Saying. That means every gesture, look, mouth twitch, eyebrow raise, even the way we stand sends a message. No wonder researchers have been studying the science of body language for decades—and what they’ve found can help you communicate more effectively.
We relate to people in three ways: verbally (with words), vocally (tone of voice), and visually (body language), says Albert Mehrabian, PhD, emeritus professor of psychology at UCLA and author of Silent Messages. But the three V’s don’t always line up. Think about someone who tries to put a good face on during a difficult time in her life. She may tell you she’s doing fine, but she frowns a bit when she says it. That’s why body language matters so much: It tells the truth, even when our words lie, according to Dr. Mehrabian. “If there’s an inconsistency between the verbal, vocal and visual, our words give off the least information,” he says. “Our facial expressions play the greatest role.”
The tricky part is noticing them in the first place. Of the thousands of facial expressions we make each day, some flash by so fast (in less than 1/25th of a second) that they barely have time to register, according to psychologist Paul Ekman, PhD, co-editor of What The Face Reveals, who pioneered research on these fleeting involuntary shows of emotion, which he dubbed micro expressions. But if you keep an eye out, over time you’ll start to catch some of these blink-and-you’ll-miss-it moments.
How do you learn to pick up on telltale facial expressions? Start by doing what national poker champion Annie Duke does: Constantly study people’s faces. “Poker players are good at hiding nonverbal cues,” she says. “But I always watch them very closely, and if I see them blinking fast, licking their lips or flashing a quick grimace before they smile, chances are they’re bluffing.”
You can catch even the most fleeting facial “tell,” but it takes a lot of practice, says John Gottman, PhD, emeritus professor of psychology at the University of Washington and cofounder of The Gottman Institute, who has studied body language in his research on marriage and relationships. The key? Watch the mouth. “That’s where most of our nonverbal information comes from,” he explains. Say a waitress twitches her lip to one side when you order an inexpensive dish instead of a pricey one: It’s a sign of contempt because she knows she’ll be getting less of a tip. Or say you give a pal a gift she doesn’t like. She may smile, but her lips will be the only thing on her face to move. If it were a genuine smile, her eyes would crinkle at the corners and the apples of her cheeks would lift, too. And take wide eyes: While they can convey surprise or fear, the mouth is the real determining factor that helps you tell the difference. The mouth drops open when we’re surprised, but pulls back when we’re scared.
TUNING INTO BODY TALK
While the face reveals key clues, the body fills in the rest of the story. The starting point? The feet. “They’re the most honest part of the body and really let you know how someone feels about you,” says Navarro. Whether you’re sitting or standing, if a person’s feet are pointed toward you, that’s a signal that she enjoys your company and wants to stick around. But if her feet are angled away from you, odds are she’d rather be somewhere else.
As for the rest of the body, keep in mind that some gestures don’t necessarily mean what you think they do. Take crossed arms. For years, we’ve been told that’s a clear sign of defensiveness. “But it’s not if the person’s arms are lightly folded across her chest rather than tightly,” says Navarro. She may simply not know what to do with her arms. “However, most people cross them for self-comfort—they’re giving themselves a hug, in effect,” he explains.
But some body moves are indeed signs of negativity. If you notice a person’s hand balled into a fist with the thumb inside while he’s staring down, he’s feeling defensive. “Or if your husband turns his belly away from you, even if he’s still looking your way,” says Navarro, “he’s letting you know that he doesn’t like what you just said.”
SEND THE RIGHT MESSAGE
When it comes to your own body language, don’t worry about trying to fine-tune your every movement. “Behavior patterns associated with temperament or personality are at least 50% genetically determined, and are difficult to change,” explains Dr. Mehrabian. Say you’re naturally high-strung. Getting your body language to read calm and cool may be tough. “But you can learn to change some of the nonverbal cues you send out,” he adds.
And it’s well worth the effort. “We have 4 to 8 seconds to make a good first impression,” says Navarro. “The goal in that short amount of time should be to create psychological comfort.” In fact, a 2011 University of California, Berkeley, study found that people determine within seconds if someone is trustworthy, kind or compassionate based on how often he or she makes eye contact, smiles, nods while listening, and displays an open body posture.
So fine-tune where you can. An easy place to start: mirroring. For instance, take a beat to assess someone’s handshake and match it, using the same strength or gentleness as the other person. Other ways to put people at ease: Pay attention to your proximity and posture. In one-on-one situations, stand or sit at a slight angle to the person, but not too close. “Research shows that people feel more comfortable when you position yourself this way because it’s a less confrontational posture,” says Navarro. Make eye contact, too, but don’t stare. And pay attention to what the other person’s eyes are doing: Are they slightly lowered? Does she hold your gaze briefly or for several seconds before looking away? Match your look to hers, as you would with a handshake. With these few tweaks, you’ll make a good impression without saying a word.