Leslie Morgan Steiner: Why Domestic Violence Victims Don’t Leave 4

Leslie Morgan Steiner was in “crazy love” — that is, madly in love with a man who routinely abused her and threatened her life. Steiner tells the dark story of her relationship, correcting misconceptions many people hold about victims of domestic violence, and explaining how we can all help break the silence.



  1. Is there cases that are reversed? meaning some man can be abused psychologically and physically by woman. I believe I´m seeing one in my personal life involving a friend. She´s a mean witch and is making his life miserable knowing that every time she hits him if he hits her back or just grabs her the law will always be on her side when she tells her own little made up story of how she was defending herself and that´s why she has bruises which she has inflicted on herself. He is not working, and if he tries to go and find a job she´ll threaten him by saying she will take away their baby. Never seen a woman so possessive, she say´s it´s love. But I believe is just that she wants the control over him.

    • Yes, in about 15% of all cases, the woman is the abuser. The psychological process the victim undergoes at the hands of the abuser is not affected by the sex of the abuser. The solution offered in the presentation — for the victim to TELL EVERYONE — appears to offer the best results. I wish your friend every success in his escape from abuse.

      • I appreciate the reply,because everybody else that doesn´t know this woman they would say “how could a guy put up with it…and, she looks like such a nice person”.

  2. A sixteen minute segment and it took almost two hours to watch. The opening segment took my breath away – though I have been divorced for over a year. The X had a doctorate in medicine and I had “only” a four year degree in psychology, but 5 years of clinical practice. Boy, he knew how to work me. By then I had a great career, with a wonderful company – and he started working for them because he was “tired” of practice. In hindsight, I realized he never stayed anywhere longer than 2 years because he cannot take constructive – caring, constructive criticism. It turns him into a viscous, mean, cold, hostile, man – that only those close to him witness.

    That is all I will say. But 2 children later, my “failed” attempt at medical school (I found my niche in a different segment of healthcare at the same university, and feel that knowledge is never wasted) all on student loans (which had to cover my living expenses in the family home) and I obtained a degree that allows me to pursue my passion. Life is difficult as a single parent but I am happy. My soul is at peaceful.

    And I didn’t realize I was the victim of an abusive relationship until 15 or 16 years into the marriage – and then it took the next few years to get the courage and plan together to leave. But as soon as he turned it away from me against our daughter, that was it. Our son is over 18 and sees him occasionally.

    Two highly educated, people, one with a medical practice, which he abandoned. (And the police did find a gun there. I was contacted because they couldn’t find him. He was locked out of the clinic before he could get his belongings out – he stopped paying rent, I suppose.

    Leslie Steiner, thank you for speaking out on this. It is difficult. But your story will inspire others to make a move to safely.

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